“I’ve outgrown the self that allowed doubt, fear, and apathy to take the driver’s seat.
I decided to let my brazen, adventurous and rebellious side lead.” ~Janine Rudder
Exactly one year ago, November 2018, I knew that I was on the brink of a transformation, but had no idea how momentous it would be. I had been creating the conditions for change in my life since the beginning of the year and had built up good momentum to leap into what was next. Although I hadn’t fully formed all of the details of the vision, I knew the essence of what I wanted my life to be. That turned out to be enough.
In the past twelve months I completed a powerful, rigorous, and illuminating certification program to become a leadership and life coach; launched my coaching business, Manifestara, with my husband; have had the privilege to coach incredibly talented clients and witness their life transformations; started this blog; and have seen doors I never knew existed open to reveal possibilities for my life that were beyond my original vision.
I clearly remember the spark that lit this flame that has now become a raging fire in my life. This fire fuels my creativity, my belief in what is achievable, and my confidence that I can make it all happen. The fire’s other purpose is to consume the fears, limited thinking, attachment to safety, and the opinions of well-meaning but uninspired people. Some days the fire burns brighter and hotter than others. On the low days I remind myself that a little progress is still progress and try to feed the flame in any way that I can.
In the past year I’ve consistently fed this fire with the stories of others who were able to take significant steps towards the life they envisioned, and my own bold actions in service of my aspirations. Below I walk through some of the boldest actions that have been the catalyst for major change in the trajectory of my career and personal life.
Just Start Creating
The start of this blog was an act of courage for me, but more so, one of self-validation. I had been writing pretty consistently for the previous 11 months; compiling life lessons, personal reflections and narratives of people whose character I admire. Up to that point, I could count on one hand the number of people who had read my writing. Writer still felt like an identity I was trying on; it wasn’t yet my own. But I knew that offering what I created to the broader world was a key part of my growth process. I had outgrown the self that allowed doubt, fear, and apathy to take the driver’s seat.
One evening last November I decided to let my brazen, adventurous and rebellious side lead. I uploaded my first blog post. The part that is most surprising, yet not surprising at all is that it felt undeniably right. I felt myself ask my soul “why did you wait so long?” Since I began sharing my musings through this blog, I’ve felt more complete. Each time I hit the ‘post’ button on a new piece, I’m overcome with a sense of delight and accomplishment that I’ve only ever felt when publishing my writing. I’m in awe that at this point in my life, there are brand new emotions and sensations to explore and indulge.
Talk About the Life You Want
I’m a somewhat private person. I like to say that it’s because some things are sacred and I honor them by keeping them close. This is true, but it’s also true that I’m afraid to share them for fear that I’ll lose them. Loss is more painful when there’s an audience. I hadn’t considered all of the support and encouragement my silence had deprived me of. Family, friends and colleagues championed, applauded, and even became my clients. To my surprise and pleasure, vulnerability had catapulted me forward.
It also set me free. Speaking about the impact I want my coaching and writing to have felt as though I’d released a long held secret. I had been protecting my deepest wishes for so long that it became a burden. Releasing that burden set miraculous things in motion. One inspired conversation with a colleague on the way in to work one morning lead to a fateful meeting. That meeting led to an opportunity within my organization. My work now primarily consists of creating experiences for individuals and teams that help them to thrive in their personal and professional lives.
Faith is a life-saver, a stress-reliever, and absolutely essential to my enjoyment of life. After doing all I can, performing my best, and planning meticulously, I can only stand back and watch how things unfold. Learning how to let go of needing to have complete control is an invaluable life lesson, especially useful for people who create. Worrying is the worst way to spend your time. It produces nothing but poor health and more worrying. When I feel a worry bubbling up, I do something about the issue if possible, and then move on.
Trying to control the outcome of every situation is a losing game. Instead, while you’re in it, ask yourself if you are being the person you want to be in this moment. If the answer is yes, keep doing what you’re doing. If not, make the adjustment, be grateful that you caught it, and enjoy the experience.
Janine Rudder is a coach and Co-Owner at Manifestara LLC - https://manifestara.com/